Argumentitive. But I can change?

I’ve been thinking longer and harder than I ever have before recently and I’ve come to the slow and somewhat bitter realisation that I really don’t have any good friends. Now to qualify this I have to add a few statements. A good friend to me is someone who likes being around you, but isn’t stuck to you like glue. They’re easy to talk to and even when you have arguments, eventually they’ll forgive you. Now, I clearly have none of these since I have no friends who fit this criteria. In fact I never go out with people (and yes, I’m sure some of you are shouting about how that is the problem, I assure you its not as I will explain in a sec) and haven’t really wanted to for quite a while now. After I realised this I realised there had to be a reason. Now I’ve asked people about this before and they said at the time I was just “hard to talk to”… which really didn’t give me much to go on. Most couldn’t or wouldn’t comment further, I don’t get why, I made it quite clear I wanted to hear absolutely everything, but then humans have this kinda protective mechanism of social structure that prevents people from saying what they really feel about others.

Fast forward a few months I’m talking to just about the only good friend (and I use that somewhat lightly) Aine whom I speak to fairly regularly and I ask her. She says that I’m “over-opinionated” and can be seen as arrogant, which I guess I can when talking to my own age group really… or probably anyone. Anyway, I asked her to clarify and “everything is an argument” with me. I had never really thought about this before. I mean, I hadn’t ever noticed me doing it but yeah, I’m pretty sure I am argumentative. My biggest problem is that I have no idea when or how or why I do it, it just happens at the time. How can you solve something that just happens. It’s like telling a cow not to eat grass, is that possible? Also, how the hell would it even be possible to stick with something like that? It’s hard enough trying to change without trying to change people’s existing opinions of you too. I am going to try, but fuck it, when you’re a bit of an outcast it’s hard to even bother. So what do you think world? Can I change myself? Can I change other peoples’ opinions of me and how’s the best way to do it?